10 days away

I'm just feeling a little anxiety over the fact that Immanuel's surgery is 10 days from today. It's been a rough day as I awoke with a pounding headache that only got worse as the day went on. I took him for his 8 month pictures at JC Penney's and we did ones with all 3 boys without their shirts to document their scar-free chests before Immanuel has surgery. I had to leave early as my headache got worse and ended up throwing up two times as the day went on so Iwas never able to take anything. Finally tonight I felt better, ate an apple, kept it down and took some meds, which have made me feel much better. I still have a slight headache but nothing compared to earlier. The pictures turned out great and the boys were so awesome today!! Isaiah really helped to care for Immanuel as I didn't feel well and daddy was at work. Isaac got me crackers & ginger ale, and Immanuel was just a good baby as always. I KNOW everything is going to be fine and yet with each day that goes by my anxiety goes up a notch. I look forward to having him repaired, to knowing his heart is working better, and to knowing this is behind us more than now, but it's still hard. We also have a heart friend, Max, that lives in Wichtia, also has TOF, and had his repair 3/10/10 in Philadelphia. I've been keeping up with him and his progress on his caring bridge site and he's doing so great, and yet seeing exactly what he's going through had made it both easier and harder knowing that is almost EXACTLY what Immanuel will face in just 10 short days. Sigh....it's necessary, I know that, it's going to be fine, I have faith in that, I just can't say I'll ever be exactly happy to send my baby into open heart surgery.