Father's Day & crib update

We had the most awesome Father's Day yesterday! First, we all woke up and gave daddy our gifts & cards. We'd gotten him a sterling silver dog tag necklace with a photo on it of all three boys & engraved on the back. He loved it! We given him a similar gift 5 years ago from the older boys, which he's cherished since. The boys also worked very hard to make him their own cards, pictures, and decorated envelopes while at granny & grandpa's.

Then I made everyone a big breakfast - waffles, sausage, bacon, eggs, juice, coffee - our families favorite meal! Even Immanuel enjoyed some waffles as we all sat together and talked over our delicious meal.

Then we all curled up on the couches and watched "Where the Red Fern Grows." Isaiah cried. Sweet boy. Mama teared up, too, daddy even did a little. We explained to Isaiah that we'd both watched that movie when we were his age and it made us cry, too. But we pointed out how God does things according to His plan & His time and how the dogs were an answer to so many of the families prayers in ways they didn't even understand - but God did. Even the dogs' passing was a blessing of sorts. Bless his heart for being so sweet and scentimental. I love that about him. I'm glad my boys have empathy for other and animals.

Then I studied while they played. Next we all got ready and went to the church for daddy's softball games - a double header! That was a blast and they won both games! It's so cute to see the boys cheering for their daddy, playing nicely with other kids they've just met, and just being able to run around freely and be boys while the baby and I hold it down on the lawn chairs.

After the games we came home for showers and dinner. I made healthy choice kilbasa-like sausages, baked potatoes and corn - a meal that was exciting to everyone and corn that was requested by all of my big boys - daddy included. After dinner the boys went to bed and I studied until midnight when I couldn't take it anymore and had to sleep. All in all it was an AWESOME day. I am so blessed to have all of these amazing men in my life. Not only do I have an incredible husband, who is a great father to our three boys, but I also have a great father-in-law and my dad has always been amazing and is there for me in more way than I could've ever imagined and then some.

As for Immanuel - no naps happened in the crib yesterday. He nursed until 9 and I put him in his crib. He cried for about 45 minutes and was asleep. He woke up more often last night than he has been - I think it was around 1, not much crying after he nursed & I put him back in there, again around 5:30 - and I think he slept with me after that. Those 4/5 feedings are blurry for me and I end up falling asleep with him in our bed so he gets to stay the rest of the night/morning with us. Oh well. I still think things are going good!

Day & Night #5

No real nap opportunities in the crib today as we had things to do all day. In the morning the napped while we were at Isaiah's baseball game - around 10:45 - 11:15ish. In the afternoon we had to go to Sarah's bridal shower so you fell asleep in the car & slept awhile there - around 1:45 - 2:30ish. In the evening we went to church and you fell asleep on the way home and then slept on daddy - around 6:30 - 7:30ish. Then at night time you nursed from 9:55 to 10:25 p.m. I put you down and at first you only cried 5 minutes and seemed to be asleep. After 5 or 10 minutes you cried some more but only briefly (under 5 minutes) and you were asleep. You then awoke at 3:30 a.m. and nursed in bed with us. I made the mistake of not putting you back in your bed so then you awoke to nurse again at 6:30 a.m. and again at 8:00 a.m. and then you were up. Now it's 9:20 and you're nursing again. You really do so much better at just sleeping when you're in your own crib - and mama and daddy sleep better, too! I'm going to try harder to put you back in there after the 3:30/4:30 a.m. feeding - it'll be better for all of us, I just have to stay awake myself to do so! Here's hopin and prayin!

Day & Night #4

It was awesome!!! I put him down for a nap at 11:00 a.m. and he cried for 50 minutes and then slept for almost 30. I'll take it. The afternoon nap happened while on mama in the pool at the Y. I needed a break from studying so surprised the big boys with a trip to the pool. They all three loved it but Booga pooped out mid-way through. That night thought we ate cheerios, bananas, baby rice cereal, and tea biscuits and were a mess. The older boys had gone with daddy to his softball game so I have Immanuel a bubble bath. He wasn't that thrilled as I'm pretty sure he was tired. So after his bath we got jammies on, nursed, and he was out around 7:45 ish. The boys got home, he woke up long enough to go to daddy, and slept on daddy until 10:45 p.m. I then nursed him and put him in his crib at 11:00 p.m. He cried pretty hard when I first put him down & walked out but as I watched on the monitor he was asleep in less than 5 minutes!! LOVE IT!!! I even went in there and moved him because he didn't look comfortable to me and he didn't wake up. The next time I heard from him was 4:30 a.m. when I nursed him and as usual we all fell asleep in our bed. He slept in our bed until 8:00 a.m. Although we're forming a habit between 4:30 a.m. & 8:00 a.m. I'm thrilled and will take it!

Night #3 in his crib

Last night went pretty well for Immanuel in his crib. However, we did allow him to stay up later than usual. Granny & Uncle K.T. were here and he was just being so cute. He wasn't fussy and was just playing with the boys, rolling all over the floor drunk with sleep being adorable so daddy wanted to let him hang out. Finally I nursed him one last time and put him down at 11:00 p.m. He cried, of course, when I laid him down at first, but as I watched hin on the monitor he calmed down fairly quickly and was asleep by 11:15 p.m.! He then woke up at 4:30 a.m. and I brought him into our bed to nurse. He ate but I fell asleep too and so we all just slept together the rest of the night. It's now 8:15 a.m. and he's still sleeping in our bed. I consider this a success despite his time in our bed in the early morning hours!

Immanuel is 11 months old today!

Immanuel Kendrick - we love you!

11 months old already & so serious!

11 months old - 6/17/10 JC Penney's Pictures

Before the braids were in - so cute!

Lovin' Cheerios, the shirt & the braids!

Getting real sassy with mommy - love how this shows your attitude.

By the sliding door you love to look out of with your 1st braids.

Being silly on the couch with mommy 6/17/10

With your brothers at the YMCA 6/18/10 - your 1st trip to the outdoor pool & you loved it!

One of your "kleenex incidents." You're so proud!

Where does the time go? How are you almost 1-year-old? What a joy the last 11 months have been. I love you so much. There are so many awesome things about you - your two bottom teeth & how you smile and seemingly stick them out in your grin as if you now know you have teeth down there to show off as opposed to the "fly trap" gummy grins of just 2 months ago, how you laugh when you're doing things you're not supposed to do, how you're so ticklish, how you get excited when you see cheerios or star puffs, how you squeel and stand on your tip toes at the banister when daddy comes home from work, or how you cry if he doesn't come get you right away (if anyone of us walks by you when you're happy to see us, for that matter - not that we do that often, it's just when we have to wash our hands or something first), or how you crawl away from me on the couch and then look back over your should to grin at your accomplishment & seem excited that you "got away." And speaking of getting away, I also love how latley you've gotten pretty "sassy" with me. Mama will tell you no and in response you raise one arm and make this loud, almost yelling noise back at me, obviously letting me know you disagree or don't like what I'm saying. Just a few days ago we went back and forth between mommy telling you no (you were messing with my A & P lab manuel) and you "yelling" back and around and around we went - I had to try hard not to laugh, so I called granny so she'd hear it and as soon as I did you quit - turkey. I love how you adore looking out the window from the couch or how you sit at the sliding glass door and watch the world outside. I love how you bang on the sliding glass door when Niko is outside or how you try to race onto the baseball turf during the boys' practice. I love how it scared you yesterday when you were banging your toys on Niko's box, which made him bark, which made you cry and I made you feel better. I love that you're getting brave nowadays and standing without holding anything, even though you don't realize it, while clapping, and how you're going from the coffee table to the couch almost without touching anything, how you've taken 1 step twice now and crashed, but we know it's so close. Seeing you go across the room walking behind the push toy. I love that you learned to climb the stairs this month (or at least we'd never given you the chance until now) and now you race to them eagerly at every opportunity and are obviously delighted by your own achievements in climbing. I love that we have to race in and out of the frige now because if we don't you're all over the bottle in the door - same is true with the pantry. I love that we now have to lock all the cabinets again and keep the bathroom door shut or else you're in Niko's water, and that we can't leave kleenex boxes within your reach or there's 20 out on the floor before I know it. I love that when you're near the couch and quiet we know bad things are happening - which usually means you're under one of the end tables trying to chew on cords from the laps, the phone, the laptop or you're stuck behind the end table tangled in the cords, grinning and loving it. It cracks me up that several times in the last month you'd stood at your hamper in your room and then it's fallen over with you and while you're not hurt you're also not sure what to do next or how to get up but you keep doing it. You've also graduated to the stroller without the carrier and the seat in the shopping basket at the store - so big. I love that you get so excited and reach for daddy when it's time to shower with him and how you recently started grabbing and peeking over the top of the shower door. I love how when you see something you want and are excited about but are in mid-air that you kick your feet almost like you're riding a bicycle trying so hard to get to it. I love that I tried pulling your hair up this month and how cute you are with it in braids. I even love that I have to cut your nails all the time (just did yesterday) because you hold your "bottle" (me!) so tightly when nursing that if not trimmed your fingers hurt me. I love watching you nurse, how you knead while you do, even when you fall asleep with it, how you tiny head sweats and your curls get tighter, and you sometimes cover your face and eyes with your arm so it's not bright as you nod off, how when it moves, you move, and how when it's taken away from you, you instinctively search around, open-mouthed, eyes closed like a baby bird and how when you do find it and are sleepy your eyes roll back, your body relaxes and you seem to be in heaven - it's heaven for me to see you like that. I love it when you're so tired that you're deliriously happy and drunk with sleep, teetering around the bed, falling over, grinning, sitting up and falling over again. I love watching you play with your toys - you love your stacking rings, the ducks and your small basketball the most, aside from the other "toys" that aren't supposed to be toys like the remote, cell phone, daddy's laptop, my keys etc. I love watching you with your brothers. You light up when they enter the room, squeal with delight when they play with you and how silly you all are together. There are just so many neat things about your personality. I've loved watching you the last 11 months, getting to know you, and I'm thrilled to continue to watch as you unfold before our eyes - our little booga-loo. It's amazing to me what you've been through and what a trooper you are. I'm especially thankful this month that we've made it through your 2nd cardiac catheter with the best news ever - no 2nd surgery needed for now. We don't even have to go back to the cardiologist for 4 months! No more meds! We still have to protect you from illness but you can cry like a normal baby now. Priase God for you and all you've been through. You are our miracle, for so many reasons, and I love you more than I can ever explain. Happy 11 months, sweet Immanuel, mama loves you!

The cry-it-out journey to the crib begins...

So on 6/15/10 I decided it was time for Mr. Immanuel to meet his crib. The day before he didn't nap well and this day was starting in a similar fashion. Bless his heart but he wants to hang on me, nurse, and use me as a pacifier while he sleeps all day. There have been a few times he's napped in his crib but it's rare. He sleeps better in the swing and sometimes on the floor. If he can't be on mommy her bed is the next best thing. However, that has too many dangers at this point and makes her nervous. So I'm needing to study, he's fallen asleep on my lap while nursing and I simply removed it from his mouth. Ha! He went from totally sleeping to screaming in seconds. You woulda thought I'd slapped him. I think to myself, "this is rediculous, you're going to the crib." I rationalize with myself along the way, "the doctors said it's okay for him to cry it out, three doctors have said this, he's past surgery, he's past the 2nd heart cath, there's no reason now can't be the time to transition, it's for the best for all of us."

So it's 12:12 p.m., he's nursed, he's been changed, we walk into his beautiful nursery (nicest room in the house, in my opinion) I kiss him, tell him I love him, it's time to take a nap, night night. I laid him down and he immediately stood up and began screaming. I put his mobile on and the aquarium and left. I'm thinking, "he's tired, all needs are met, I'm sure he'll cry for awhile but he'll sleep eventually." So I turn on the baby monitor and watch. He plays with the mobile & fish for 5- 10 minutes, crying a little every once in a while. Then he really started crying. Standing in the crib, reaching toward the door, screaming. He'd then pace up and down the crib rail, so pathetic, so irritated with mommy. He wasn't crying at full blast, it was more of a off and on, how dare you do this type of crying.

I went about my studying, had lunch, etc., all while watching & listening to him on the monitor. I told myself, "naps should be about 2 hours so I'll go get him at 2:12 p.m. if all else fails. What happened? He basically cried the entire time. What a stubborn stink-pot. Just before it was time to get up I went to the restroom and that was the funniest part -he heard me out there and then really turned it on - crying harder & louder than he had the entire time. Boy was he mad to hear me out there and know that I had left his precious little self in there in that torture chamber. Geez.

So at 2:12 p.m. I went in to get him. Of course he was even more tired than before and couldn't wait to nurse. As I expected it tried to nurse right away and go to sleep in the process. He laid down, got the death grip on his "breast friend" and nursed through random gasps of air - you know, the kind after you've been crying so hard you can't even believe it. Sheesh. But I wasn't about to let him sleep on me - that would mean he's won. So I basically kept him up the rest of the afternoon. Each time he'd fall asleep on me I'd take him to the crib. Each time we got near the crib he's wake up & begin crying immediately as if he smelled hydrochloric acid or something. I knew I wanted to have him sleep in his crib that night also so I figured it'd be best if he was good and tired so we didn't have another 2 hour crying session.

So at 9:00 p.m. after being changed & nursing to sleep in bed with me, I got up and took him to his crib. Of course, he started crying the second I put him down. We put on all the toys, gave kisses, said I love you, said night night, and then left & closed the door. I watched on the monitor as the crying commenced. It started to die down around 9:30 as he was sitting there (rather than standing) and crying while chewing on his finger and babbling, "gagagaga, babababab,nananana" sounds. Just then, Ishaku walks in there and it went to full blast again. I went in, frustrated that he'd gone in there when I felt we were starting to settle down. He was on the phone with his parents and they were worried about Immanuel and told him to go in there and make him feel better. Hmpf. We exchanged a few words and I left irritated. I watched on the monitor as he picked him up, put him down, patted his back, etc. Whatever, I'm going to bed. So when I fell asleep daddy was sitting on the floor beside the crib, arm through the slats, patting the back of a baby that was sitting up crying. I asked later what time he feel asleep finally and daddy said it was right about 10:00 p.m. Okay, that's one hour less crying than naptime, I'll take it.

So he woke up around 2 a.m. and nursed for about 20 minutes and then I took him back to his room, changed him, rocked a bit, and then into the crib. He started crying, of course, but shortly after 3 a.m. he was asleep on his blanket snoring. Okay, one point for mommy - going back to bed.

I didn't hear from him until 7 a.m.! Even then I only heard him stirring, looked, he was sitting up in the crib just looking around. Wow. I went in, he semi-cried then but I was very happy, smiling, saying, "good morning!" He seemed to respond well. We went to my bed & he nursed. I figured we'd be up then as that's our normal time to rise but I guess the night's trauma had taken it's toll on him & he crashed. I'm a sucker and let him sleep in our bed. He slept there until 8:30 ish. That's okay.

During the day on 6/16 he wasn't trying to nap again but frankly I didn't have the heart to torture him again - at least not during the day. He slept on me throughout the day. He needed rest & I needed to study. Whatever.

Last night was a different story. I might be soft during the day but we just have to make this happen at night and I've got to be consistent. (Talking myself up here.) So at 9:00 p.m. he'd fallen asleep while nuring & rocking. I changed him, put his toys on, said love you, night night, and left, closing the door after me. Crying. Watched on the monitor - wasn't as bad as the night before. I made home-made salsa & cleaned the kitchen. Went to bed and he fell asleep at 10:00 p.m. with head on his little pillow. Yea! I put the blanket on him, whispered I love you & went to our room. Daddy even came to bed with me! It was so nice to be able to cuddle again. Sadly, at 11 p.m. he awoke because the stupid dog went in his room. Stupid me for leaving the door cracked. So I nursed him and put him back in there. He cried less than 30 minutes & was back asleep. Another point for mommy. When did I hear from him next you ask? 6 a.m.!!! YES! I love progress & moving in the right direction! Granted, he nursed in bed with us and fell asleep, where I left him until he awoke around 8 a.m. but oh well, I'll take it! I think I'll try naptime again today....consistency is the best bet, right? This is why I don't blog as I'd like to - everything I want to talk about ends up being a novel - I'd never get anything else done. More to come on our sleep saga!

Need to update my blog!

Someday I want to be one of those people that I admire....the ones that blog all the time, the blogs I love to read, the ones that make me say to myself, "that is so awesome, they are going to have the coolest record of their lives to look back on some day. Their children will LOVE seeing this when they're older..." Ahhh, but alas, that is yet to be me. Why is it so hard? I always want tod document & remember everything. Blogging is the perfect way to do that. And still....nothing. Sigh. Oh well. Today is a new day, right? I need to add so much about life and especially Immanuel's heart journey since I last blogged a day before he went in. For now, though, I'm just going to start with today and what has brought me here, reflecting on blogs to begin with. See my next entry above!