The cry-it-out journey to the crib begins...

So on 6/15/10 I decided it was time for Mr. Immanuel to meet his crib. The day before he didn't nap well and this day was starting in a similar fashion. Bless his heart but he wants to hang on me, nurse, and use me as a pacifier while he sleeps all day. There have been a few times he's napped in his crib but it's rare. He sleeps better in the swing and sometimes on the floor. If he can't be on mommy her bed is the next best thing. However, that has too many dangers at this point and makes her nervous. So I'm needing to study, he's fallen asleep on my lap while nursing and I simply removed it from his mouth. Ha! He went from totally sleeping to screaming in seconds. You woulda thought I'd slapped him. I think to myself, "this is rediculous, you're going to the crib." I rationalize with myself along the way, "the doctors said it's okay for him to cry it out, three doctors have said this, he's past surgery, he's past the 2nd heart cath, there's no reason now can't be the time to transition, it's for the best for all of us."

So it's 12:12 p.m., he's nursed, he's been changed, we walk into his beautiful nursery (nicest room in the house, in my opinion) I kiss him, tell him I love him, it's time to take a nap, night night. I laid him down and he immediately stood up and began screaming. I put his mobile on and the aquarium and left. I'm thinking, "he's tired, all needs are met, I'm sure he'll cry for awhile but he'll sleep eventually." So I turn on the baby monitor and watch. He plays with the mobile & fish for 5- 10 minutes, crying a little every once in a while. Then he really started crying. Standing in the crib, reaching toward the door, screaming. He'd then pace up and down the crib rail, so pathetic, so irritated with mommy. He wasn't crying at full blast, it was more of a off and on, how dare you do this type of crying.

I went about my studying, had lunch, etc., all while watching & listening to him on the monitor. I told myself, "naps should be about 2 hours so I'll go get him at 2:12 p.m. if all else fails. What happened? He basically cried the entire time. What a stubborn stink-pot. Just before it was time to get up I went to the restroom and that was the funniest part -he heard me out there and then really turned it on - crying harder & louder than he had the entire time. Boy was he mad to hear me out there and know that I had left his precious little self in there in that torture chamber. Geez.

So at 2:12 p.m. I went in to get him. Of course he was even more tired than before and couldn't wait to nurse. As I expected it tried to nurse right away and go to sleep in the process. He laid down, got the death grip on his "breast friend" and nursed through random gasps of air - you know, the kind after you've been crying so hard you can't even believe it. Sheesh. But I wasn't about to let him sleep on me - that would mean he's won. So I basically kept him up the rest of the afternoon. Each time he'd fall asleep on me I'd take him to the crib. Each time we got near the crib he's wake up & begin crying immediately as if he smelled hydrochloric acid or something. I knew I wanted to have him sleep in his crib that night also so I figured it'd be best if he was good and tired so we didn't have another 2 hour crying session.

So at 9:00 p.m. after being changed & nursing to sleep in bed with me, I got up and took him to his crib. Of course, he started crying the second I put him down. We put on all the toys, gave kisses, said I love you, said night night, and then left & closed the door. I watched on the monitor as the crying commenced. It started to die down around 9:30 as he was sitting there (rather than standing) and crying while chewing on his finger and babbling, "gagagaga, babababab,nananana" sounds. Just then, Ishaku walks in there and it went to full blast again. I went in, frustrated that he'd gone in there when I felt we were starting to settle down. He was on the phone with his parents and they were worried about Immanuel and told him to go in there and make him feel better. Hmpf. We exchanged a few words and I left irritated. I watched on the monitor as he picked him up, put him down, patted his back, etc. Whatever, I'm going to bed. So when I fell asleep daddy was sitting on the floor beside the crib, arm through the slats, patting the back of a baby that was sitting up crying. I asked later what time he feel asleep finally and daddy said it was right about 10:00 p.m. Okay, that's one hour less crying than naptime, I'll take it.

So he woke up around 2 a.m. and nursed for about 20 minutes and then I took him back to his room, changed him, rocked a bit, and then into the crib. He started crying, of course, but shortly after 3 a.m. he was asleep on his blanket snoring. Okay, one point for mommy - going back to bed.

I didn't hear from him until 7 a.m.! Even then I only heard him stirring, looked, he was sitting up in the crib just looking around. Wow. I went in, he semi-cried then but I was very happy, smiling, saying, "good morning!" He seemed to respond well. We went to my bed & he nursed. I figured we'd be up then as that's our normal time to rise but I guess the night's trauma had taken it's toll on him & he crashed. I'm a sucker and let him sleep in our bed. He slept there until 8:30 ish. That's okay.

During the day on 6/16 he wasn't trying to nap again but frankly I didn't have the heart to torture him again - at least not during the day. He slept on me throughout the day. He needed rest & I needed to study. Whatever.

Last night was a different story. I might be soft during the day but we just have to make this happen at night and I've got to be consistent. (Talking myself up here.) So at 9:00 p.m. he'd fallen asleep while nuring & rocking. I changed him, put his toys on, said love you, night night, and left, closing the door after me. Crying. Watched on the monitor - wasn't as bad as the night before. I made home-made salsa & cleaned the kitchen. Went to bed and he fell asleep at 10:00 p.m. with head on his little pillow. Yea! I put the blanket on him, whispered I love you & went to our room. Daddy even came to bed with me! It was so nice to be able to cuddle again. Sadly, at 11 p.m. he awoke because the stupid dog went in his room. Stupid me for leaving the door cracked. So I nursed him and put him back in there. He cried less than 30 minutes & was back asleep. Another point for mommy. When did I hear from him next you ask? 6 a.m.!!! YES! I love progress & moving in the right direction! Granted, he nursed in bed with us and fell asleep, where I left him until he awoke around 8 a.m. but oh well, I'll take it! I think I'll try naptime again today....consistency is the best bet, right? This is why I don't blog as I'd like to - everything I want to talk about ends up being a novel - I'd never get anything else done. More to come on our sleep saga!